Big Changes

So much has happened since my last post. I'm seeing someone and basically have moved in with him. Yes, it was a shock to me as well. I have known him awhile and he has always been sweet to me and my kids. The kids are still in my apartment next door with the cat. Charles is moving to Florida soon. He told me he was going to stay with his dad for two months, it is actually six months. Alex still plans to move to Missouri for six months, but they don't have a date set yet.

I had some not so fun things happen as well. Somehow I got both bedbugs and headlice in the same week. How does that even happen? It put me in a severe depression, no one was willing to help except Alex's boyfriend. My family has basically cut me off to protect themselves. If it wasn't for Sabino I would have given up long ago. On top of everything I spent a month sick and on multiple rounds of antibiotics.

All this has taken a toll on my pocketbook as well. I had to cancel my Homegrown Collective and Lootcrate, Julep is next. I am expecting my last Lootcrate in a couple days. I sold my car for scrap to pay Dr bills. Hopefully everything should even out soon. Things have been busy for Sabino as well. He had coworkers/roommates leave and has been working overtime without extra pay. Every time they get someone new in and I adjust to living with someone different, they move on.

Homegrown Collective creations

Last week Maddi and I worked on some projects from the last two boxes. We made homemade insect repellant, after sun lotion bars, room deodorizer, oil defuser, and sunscreen. I had to melt the lotion bars three times adding more oil until they came off on your hand a bit. The sunscreen hardened into a chunk and I had to throw away the container. So while the lotion bars were salvageable, the sunscreen was a fail. I wonder if the directions should have been teaspoons for the beeswax instead of table spoons. I left the soy wax and cinnamon oil with her to make the candles. I'm allergic to cinnamon and she had to go to work before we could do the candles. I thought cinnamon candles would be perfect for fall.

I also never got around to posting the picture of the mustard I made. Danny is right, it is good on toast. I still need to make the ketchup from that box. I will definitely try the mustard again.  

August Julep box and nail art

This months theme was travel and many colors seemed to be inspired by India. I chose the bombshell collection which included Neha- a lovely magenta metallic and Tazeen- a bright full coverage gold glitter. I also added on Joyce- a bright red metallic. Unfortunately they sent two Nehas instead of the Joyce and not it is out of stock. They did give me points to be used for future add-ons but it will be doubtful that I will be able to get Joyce for the 6.99 price for awhile. The retail price is 14.99 and the maven price is 11.99 for colors. You usually get a lower price for adding on to your box but they are mostly new colors from other boxes or close outs. I'm not happy but there is nothing I can do at this point. The box also came with a taupe sheen eyeliner pencil. It seems to be very long lasting and waterproof.

My Birthday mani, I was practicing with no water marbling. The middle finger is Donna, which I recently reordered, The other two are Misty and Leila. 

August Birchbox and Limited Edition Birchboxes

This month I chose the curated box over samples that were selected for my profile. I chose this option as I wanted to try the Benefit, They're Real Eyeliner. I was not overly thrilled with the sample, it was difficult to use. Also in the box was another body wash. I haven't used it yet, I added it to my sample basket in the bathroom. ( I recently found something to organize my products in the bathroom. Yea!) It does have a light lemon scent. I did use half of the N.4 Supercomb Prep & Protect in just a few uses. It has an odd scent that I can't place, kind of sweet. I like these type of products so I can't get too many. Another product I enjoyed was the facial scrub. It smells slightly minty and herbaceous, it has small green plant bits and grit, and my face looks nice after. The final product I received was the Hello Harvey Prince perfume sample. I know I have received this one before but I'm not sure if I gave it to Maddi or not. It has a pleasant citrus scent. 

I also added a chloe + isabel necklace. While it is pretty, I probably should have skipped it, but I wanted to splurge for my birthday.

I also Splurged on the two limited edition boxes that Birchbox curated from CEW favorites. The Prestige box had 100% Pure nail polish in Velouria. It is a soft nude pink. It reminds me of  calamine lotion. The next products were the Coola after sun lotion, Fekkai glossing creme, Josie Maran argan oil, and the Philosophy night cream. These items will all come in handy. They also sent a few extras. Some toe seperators which I will pass on and a pocket mirror that will come in handy.

The Mass Appeal box came with a Burt's Bees lip gloss which I have been using and a Vaseline Lip therapy that I gave Alex. I like products that I can take to work and not have to worry about putting my fingers in.  Also was another body wash, this time by dove, Simple moisturizer, and Tresemme keratin infusing serum. These will all get used as needed. Hydrating hair products are especially welcome right now. I also like the nice sized sample of the simple moisturizer. I recently picked up another item by this same brand, Simple eye make-up remover pads. The final product was L'Oreal Butterfly mascara. So far I am liking it. It did not clump or smudge and washed off cleanly. I'm not sure if it was long lasting though.

I added on the Beauty Protector Protect and Shampoo. It is the same brand as the dry shampoo I got last month. I had received a sample of it in a previous box and liked it. I have also sampled the coditioner and oil and loved both of those as well. The only item I'm not a fan of was the dry shampoo. Purchasing the shampoo allowed me to try the Protect and Tangle for free and brought my price up to $35+ so I could get a mystery pack for free as well. I received a Coola  mineral sunscreen sample and a folle de joie perfume sample. Both of these items are repeat samples for me. I also used my points which were worth $20. So basically I paid for the shampoo I love and $4 each for the boxes. 

I recently tried a few items from another limited edition box. Biore self heating masks. I had misplaced them awhile ago and was thinking about them as I was using the Crest whitening strips that came in the same box. I was cleaning off the bench in the hall when I found them. I tried them out and was surprised by the heat as you applied it to your wet face. I liked that it only took one minute to work before you wash it off and enjoyed the cooling sensation that was left afterwards. I liked them so much I shared a couple with Joyce and Maddi and bought more for myself.

Keeping Secrets

When do you hold your tongue and when do you speak out? What if it is so horrible that you are afraid to say something? What if no one believes you? When I was two I was molested by my uncle. I don't remember it. I guess I'm lucky. Before he molested my sister and I, he had molested his own daughters. Before that he had tried to molest/rape my mother. My cousins blamed my mother for not speaking out. The family criticized my aunt for staying married to him. Why are we blaming everyone else for this one man's actions?

When I left home I had a distant relationship with my mother. I joined the army and got married. No one from my family came. I never tried to have an estranged relationship. When I had a child I went home to visit and eventually we moved there. My sister was going through a rough time and I had her over trying to help. Right before we moved away I found out my husband has molested my 12 year old sister. At the time it was unclear who instigated it. Did I want to believe my husband, the man who chose the broken person I knew I was? Was I afraid to leave? I had a baby and nowhere to go. Did I perhaps blame myself for fighting with him before that? Was it my punishment?

I stayed, we moved, and I kept it secret. I told one person in confidence, his stepmother. She did not believe he would do it and she apparently took it to her grave. We had more children and my family was even more alienated. We moved again, close to his best friend. Our families became close and I told his wife. She did not know what to think either, but we agreed that it was inappropriate for their daughter to cuddle with him. We were having marital problems. I often fantasized about stabbing him. His best friend told me I should leave him if I felt that way. One day, their ten year old daughter came to me and said she was not feeling well. I pulled her close and asked what was wrong. She told me that he had made a pass at her. The police said that technically he did not do anything illegal. Part of me thinks he was trying to punish me because he heard the conversation with his friend. It took several years to get myself ready to leave him. In that time I got my drivers licence, found a church, and got a job.

Because of the guilt I did not move home right away. My sister had to convince me. She even gave us a place to stay so I could get on my feet. For the longest time I still did not tell anyone. I felt it was not only my story to tell. My sister likely wont be happy if she reads this. It is not something she likes to be reminded of. My ex will probably say that I am trying to cause problems. Strangers may try to vilify me. There is this fear that if you tell someone people will judge you, that you will be guilty by association. I finally had to accept that his actions were not my fault. I did not drive him to this. I did not condone his actions. I no longer keep his secrets. Still there are those that would say that I am a vindictive ex-wife making up stories. Perhaps that is why the only person in his family I have told was his father. I don't think he believed me. I no longer keep his secret, but I no longer take responsibility for his actions either. It is not my job to protect the world. I only have to protect my family and friends.

Kickstarter Projects for Steampunk Card Games

I recently received the Steampunk goggles and cards project I had backed so I decided to do a post about all my cards so far. They had a selection of goggles that matched the cards and I chose the goggles that matched the Jack of hearts as they reminded me of this curio I made a few years ago. They both have a bee theme. Now I need to make a costume to go with it.

I actually received two deck with this project. I believe the other is probably at AnimeIowa with the kids right now. The deluxe box cover had a train on it and the cards had gold details.

Various backers chose to pay higher levels to get their likeness on the cards. 

 My first deck through kickstarter is a flip deck. When you flip through from the back the gears turn and from the front the numbers tick down on the time machine.

Another favorite deck was the steampunk pirate decks. I am also missing one of these decks. I believe the kids layed them down somewhere. The face cards on these are based on authors and important people. One of my favorites is Edgar Alan Poe. The Steampunk ABC's was from a previous project that I bought as an add-on with the cards.

This deck, designed by Tesh is fun. I have backed a few of his related projects. The face cards are based on inventors like Nicolas Flammel or tinkers like Tomas Edison. I added on the two dealer coins and received two free dragon treasure coins. The free coins are from backing another persons project. It was a dragon card game and the other dragon coin is with that game. I am currently backing another project by Tesh. It is for more coins. The coins will have holes in the center for axles so they can turn as gears. I missed out on the poker chips that matched this set. Saddly I can't back them all.

My first kickstarter project ever was the tinker dice. I recent received these as we are still waiting for production on the gear punk dice. I chose four gearpunk dice; a D4, a D20, a count down D20, and one I cannot remember. I do remember I chose the zinc finish for those. It has been such a long drawn out process that I was starting to get discouraged. It felt like they would never get done. Getting these beautiful dice in the mail helped renew my faith. I'm sure the others will be just as lovely.  

I have backed several other projects that have succeeded. Some even include steampunk themes. Espionage cosmetics came out with geeky nail wraps including steampunk and tentacles. I recommend you check out their website, the wraps are amazing. They have space, comic book themes, and so much more. I also have a geeky sprinkle project I am backing that is in production. Those will include edible sprinkles in fun shapes like gears, tardis, and lightening bolt. I am also backing a card game that is based on steampunk inventions. It is either still funding or recently finished. 

June Ipsy and July Ipsy and Birchbox

I really like July's Birchbox. Lip crayon are my favorite lip product other than a healing lip balm. I had not tried Laqa and Co yet so I was happy to give it a shot. This color was perfect to go with the new dress I bought Alex so she stole it. The Naobay body cream smells like ginger to me. I used the Supergoop eye cream this morning. It absorbs similar to their other products. It is not greasy or overly hydrating, it is just okay. I have received a few products from their line and I do feel good about using them. I played around with one of the nail wraps. The sample only included half of the sizes so I can do my thumbs and my ring fingers. I like the print but have not decided what color to pair them with. I'm thinking maybe a red creme polish. Perhaps I will add a little flower or dots to the accent nails. The small pot is a lemon scented face scrub. I have not tried it yet because I keep forgetting to take it to the bathroom. I also chose two upgrades for this month, but they were shipped separately. I ordered the dry shampoo and the portable charger. The charger is a pretty navy and white pattern. I have it tucked in my purse for emergencies. Perhaps like the night my phone was dead and we had to take a different route home in the middle of the night due to flooding. To top it off the power was out in all the neighboring towns and there were no street lights. We made it home but it pays to have a charge for your phone. 

My July Ipsy bag was okay. I was surprised to find some love for the Bare Minerals 5 in 1 cream eyeshadow. It is a very matte brown cream that stays put once it dries. The color actually has the word wine in it but it is brown. It actually is the same color as my natural eyelids. After testing it on the back of my hand I wondered if it would work on he cholesterol patches on my eyelids. It covers them perfectly without budging. I had to order a full size version of this. Now I have a small one for my purse and a full size for my kit. I can even use it when I am not wearing any other make up. I used the Be fine moisturizer on my face this morning. It works well and like supergoop add a spf protection. I tested the cheek stain on my hand, but have not used it yet. It seems like it will give you a natural rosy glow. The Big look mascara... it is water proof... it also happens to be a thinner formula with a flexible wand. If you are like me that means little black specks all over you. Maybe if I blot it first. Wayne Goss did tell us how important that is, after all. The tanning oil does not interest me, I do find the bag cute though.

 Last months bag was super cute. I guess I never posted it earlier as Maddy had already seen what I had gotten. In it came an eye brow pencil, a NYX butter gloss, Beabombshell mascara, Marc Anthony dream waves beach spray and a Real tree perfume sample. I was happy to have a spare eyebrow pencil and mascara for my purse. The previous travel mascara was dried out so it needed replaced. The butter gloss is a nice neutral shade and looks good on me. It has a sweet scent and is creamy without being too sticky. I was not real crazy about the perfume, but Maddi liked it so I passed it on to her. I have almost used up all of the Beach Spray. It isn't something I use every day, but it is fun to change things up every now and then. My favorite hair product is 12 Benefits, it leaves my hair soft and allows the waves to do their thing.

My June Birchbox picture is on my camera which I have misplaced. My camera also has a couple pictures of my niece and nephew from their visit.

Birchbox has already released spoilers for the August Box. They added more options this month. They had four items to choose from as one of your samples or to choose a separate curated box. I decided to go for the alternative box as it had the Benefit Its Real Push up eye liner. I really want to try it. especially since I have misplaced my black liquid eye liner that I love to wing out. I also chose one of the upgrades and decided to get the necklace. I wont give any more details though as I want to keep it a surprise.